When Blue Meets Blue
by bama02614
Summary: Future NS fic told from Dan's POV. It's a one shot with mentions of CB, and DS as well. What does Nate/Serena's future look like? Angsty and fluffy of course.


Author's Note: I couldn't resist doing another NS one shot. I so adore them, and there isn't enough of them on the show. This time I did it from Dan's point of view. So of course there will be mentions of DS. I'm not a DS fan, but I didn't bash them in this, or vilify Dan. I actually don't mind Dan, and I really enjoyed writing his POV. I guess this would be a future NS fic, everything that's happened on the show has happened. I'm just going beyond that.

_When Blue Meets Blue_

Dan watches her sometimes. She never notices, probably because her eyes are always focused elsewhere… specifically on _him_. He's the Golden God of the Upper East Side, and every girls perfect fairytale prince. Dan's own sister has a crush on him. But he doesn't seem to notice all those girls falling at his feet, he only notices Dan's girlfriend – the same way she notices him. Dan hates it when he catches those moments passing between them. Dan tries to look away, he really does, but he's hopeless. It's like watching a train wreck for him, he just can't help himself. He's held in their thrall for those few seconds when they allow their eyes to meet. Her blue meets his blue, and they meld.

Dan's breath always catches in his throat during those times. A dull ache starts in his stomach, moves through his heart, and lodges in his lungs. He's paralyzed by them – taunted by the closeness that will never totally fade. He might be crazy, but he thinks Nate will always have a piece of her. She gave it to him a long time ago, and she's never offered the same to Dan. Nate knows the history of her favorite color, while Dan can only guess at it. He knows she's all about purple right now, but just last week she mentioned she was a blue girl, and he'd never known that. He wondered at the time if that was influenced by Nate's eyes, and hated himself for that. She'd never done anything to make him doubt her, but he did.

He doubts so much about her now. She told him she's never loved anyone but him. He was so thrilled when she said that – as corny as it sounds he thinks joy actually bursted within him. But now, when he catches those moment between them, he thinks she was lying. How can she look at Nate the way she does if Dan is the only one she loves. He doesn't think it's possible. He's never looked at anyone but her in _that_ way.

Blair caught him once, watching them. She looked at him with her usual disdain when she did, but there was some pity under the surface that absolutely killed him. Blair understood, she'd been him once upon a time, fighting a force that seemed pretty damn immovable. Serena left, Nate strayed… and yet still here they were right back where they started, and he had to face it, they started with each other. Blair had been kind enough not to sugar coat it for him. She'd told him flat out that they would never be over each other, not in any real way. They would say they were. They would date other people. They would pretend to be just friends, really good, really old friends, but that would never be the truth. Nate and Serena's absolute truth was that they would never really be done. Blair told him to stop watching them, accept it, and he might just end up with the girl. Did he really want a girl with only half a heart to offer him? He guesses he does, because he's still with her.

He took a nap with her last Sunday. It was a beautiful sunny day in the city, and they'd cuddled up on his old bed. When they'd fallen asleep they were holding hands, and he remembers thinking that was one of the most perfect moments in his life. He woke up to her cell phone ringing. She sleeps like the dead so she didn't hear it, but when he glanced over at the screen it was Nate's name flashing across. She'd put him in as 'Natie' and that little endearment made him sick. Mostly, because she'd never used it in front of Dan. It was like it was their little secret, and Dan was kicked out of their private club. He hadn't answered it, and when she'd woken up later he'd pretended he didn't see the little smile that passed over her lips when she saw her missed call. She liked Nate's attention; she reveled in it.

Tonight they're all going out to dinner. Blair has planned this thing all out, and Serena insisted they attend. He secretly believes she's using this as an excuse to see Nate. He's been torturing himself about the seating arrangements all day. She'll end up beside Nate. He knows she will. She'll laugh at his jokes, she'll touch his arm casually, and Dan will pretend not to notice. But he'll see it, he'll see it all, and so will everyone else at the table.

Vanessa will be there. She's drowning in her Nate love right now. Dan thinks she's fortunate that she doesn't see what he sees. Vanessa has a nack for looking away at the right minute and avoiding those moments that torment Dan. Serena pretends like she's okay with Vanessa. She makes idol chit chat, and smiles, and acts like everything is fine. But Dan can tell it's only on the surface, beneath the façade Serena has a very big problem with Vanessa – namely that she's dating Nate. Dan hates to think it, and prays he's wrong, but he believes Serena is jealous that for once all of Nate's affection isn't focused on her.

Dinner is awkward. Blair and Chuck arrive arguing, and they continue to do so throughout appetizers. Vanessa is hanging on Nate like a dying vine, and Nate's looking especially uncomfortable. Serena found herself a seat right beside Nate, and Dan was forced to sit between her and Chuck, who keeps glaring at him for no apparent reason. He hates this. He hates pretenses, and this crowd are the Kings and Queens of fake.

"Do you have a problem?" Chuck calls him out, and Dan is tempted to say yes, I do have a problem. My girlfriend is in love with another guy, and she might not even know it. So yes Chuck fucking Bass, I do have a problem. But instead he just shakes his head and chomps into a dry roll. Blair gives him a funny look (not quite pity, but close) and then sips her white wine.

Nate starts talking about his sail boat, and Dan has to stifle a groan. Serena's eyes light up at the mention, and she leans over and whispers something in Nate's ear. Nate laughs, and for a second her head rests on Nate's shoulder. It's only a second, but it's enough to make Dan's heart sink. When he looks across the table at Vanessa her face has fallen too, and he thinks maybe she's not as blind as she pretends to be.

Serena suggests they all go to the boat after dinner, buy some cheap wine, listen to good music – fun times. Dan prays Blair will say no because she's in a bad mood. But she and Chuck have made up between the appetizers and the main meal and she happily agrees with the plan. Chuck still glares at him, but it's a slow burn instead of the intense heat it was before. Vanessa whispers something to Nate, but he just shrugs and tells Serena it's a great idea. Every idea Serena has, is great to Nate. Serena turns to Dan as an after thought and asks if he's in. He nods, and starts to say something, but she's already turned back to Nate.

She's touching his arm again.

It's a rainy Wednesday when he finds her sitting on a bench outside of the Palace. He's been calling her all afternoon but her voicemail is full, and she's not calling him back. He sits beside her even though the bench is wet, and his pants are now damp and uncomfortable. It's still drizzling out, and if she wasn't so beautiful she'd look like a drowned rat. He takes her hand, and she lets him hold it. He asks her what's wrong, but she just turns to him with this lost look in her eyes. He thinks he sees tears, but they mingle with the rain drops and he can't be sure. She's broken. He can see that clearly now, and it scares him, because he's not the one who broke her.

"What happened?" He manages to get out even though he doesn't really want to know. He's scared she'll decide to tell him the truth, and then all the dreams he has for the future will come crashing down around him. She is his future. That's what he's always believed, but is he her future? He's not sure, and what's even worse is that he doesn't think she is either.

"I'm fine." The way she says it is so emotionless, so cold that he's shocked into silence. She pulls her hand out of his, and folds it with her other in her lap. She stares down at her fingers like they're foreign objects. He doesn't know what to do or say, all he knows is he wants to make it better. He knows he can't though.

He stands up and brushes at the back of his pants. He feels useless and used, and it's more horrible than he ever thought it could be. She looks up at him again, some silent pleading in her eyes, but he doesn't know what she wants him to do.

"Tell me…" he says without really knowing what he's asking.

"I can't," she murmurs as the wind picks up and the rain begins whipping again. Her phone buzzes in her pocket, and he doesn't have to look to know who's calling her. She exhales a loud breath, and it sounds a lot like relief. Did they fight? Did she think he wouldn't call her? He can't imagine the insecurities that she's acquired over the years where Nate is involved.

"You should answer it," he tells her. She pulls it out of her pocket, and does just that. He tells himself she wouldn't have if he hadn't told her to, but it's a lie. He listens to her whisper softly into the phone. She greets him, she apologizes, and she assures him he wasn't in the wrong. She tells him she understands his point of view, and that she never meant to upset him. Dan wants to puke right there on the Palace steps. They talk for a few more minutes, and she starts to smile. Her eyes even turn a brighter shade of blue. The storm is passing, but then it returns suddenly. He's not sure what Nate says, but her face goes a shade greyer, and her eyes become downcast again. She murmurs a quick goodbye and then hangs up.

"Is everything okay?" He can't stop himself from asking. She shakes her head, but offers no more explanation. Anger rises up taking him by surprise, and making him sound sharper than he wishes. "I don't want to play games, Serena."

"No games," she agrees, but still says nothing more.

"Tell me." This time it's a demand. She remains silence and he thinks she'll leave him hanging. But then she reaches out to him and pulls him back down beside her. He once again ignores the wet bench, and instead focuses on the feel of her soft hand on his damp skin. He wants to savor this touch, because he's afraid it will be their last.

"I'm sorry," she says, and it's ripped from somewhere deep inside her. The dam has broken and she begins crying again. She leans into Dan's chest, and he holds her. It's not lost on him that she's crying over another guy, but he can't bear to turn her away.

"Tell me," he whispers again.

"I can't," she returns just as softly. He doesn't know who she's protecting: him, herself or Nate. Maybe she's trying to spare all three of them. It's not working, though. They all know it. She and Nate are fighting, and he's growing bitter. Vanessa is the fourth side to their square, but it's always seemed more like a triangle.

"You have to." He says this with no passion or recrimination. He's ready to hear her confession now. He's ready to be set free. He's lived this life for her, changed as much as he could. It was never enough, he sees that now. He was the pauper to her princess, but this princess always dreamed of her prince, even if she didn't realize it. He has brown hair, not golden. His eyes are brown, not blue. Everything about him is wrong, and she's finally realized that. He doesn't think Nate deserves her, but he guesses that doesn't matter.

"It's bad…"

He wants to shake her until she finally spits it out, but he doesn't move. He keeps holding her, and rubbing her back. He's soothing the girl who is about to rip him to shreds, but what else is he supposed to do. He's the good guy, not the villain. He can't throw her away like Chuck Bass would if he were Dan. He can't ignore her like Nate has for all these years. So he'll take his lumps, and hope he finds his way to the other side.

"I need to know." His voice cracks when he says this, and she looks up to meet his eyes. He see's guilt, and pain, and doubt. He wonders what she's afraid of. He wonders if she ever really loved him. He hopes she did, because he knows he's never loved anyone the way he loves her.

"It's stupid really," she pulls back from him, and wipes at her eyes. She pastes on a perfectly fake smile, and begins to brush it all away. Dan is so tempted to just let her. "Nate and I had a little fight… it was nothing… I'm acting like a freak."

When she says his name it cuts like a knife through Dan, and he knows he can't go on like this anymore. Nate is a fucking ghost haunting their relationship, and he's never going to give Dan any peace. Dan misses that idyllic first year with Serena when Nate was too busy being a moron to really fight for her, and Serena was still feeling too guilty over Blair to really look at him. Dan had her then, he had her whole heart he thinks. But Nate woke up, and so did Serena. He remembers their kiss at the white party – they fit so well together.

"You love him." Dan says this as fact, because he knows it is. She opens her mouth to deny him, but he can see the moment when her eyes change, and her mouth shuts softly. She never tells him he's wrong, she just begins crying again. She doesn't lean into him this time though, and he's greatful for that.

"I don't mean to," she whispers. She sounds like a little child, and he aches for her, and him, and everything that is about to happen. Nate will fuck it up. Dan knows he will. Serena probably knows Nate will too, but love is love. You don't choose. Dan definitely wouldn't have chosen her, but he's glad she chose him for the short amount of time she did.

"I know." He puts his hand over hers and lets it rest for a moment. Then he stands up again, and heads for the street. He'll splurge on a cab, and get back over the bridge as fast as he can. Brooklyn has never sounded so good before. The Upper East Side has broken his heart.

Two months later he sees them walking down the street together. Serena is smiling a smile she never gave to Dan, and the usually downcast Nate is lighting up brighter than a freaking Christmas tree. They're so pretty together that Dan can barely stand to look at them. Nate dumped Vanessa three days after Serena's tearful rain confession. Vanessa was heartbroken, but Dan had seen it coming. He could even imagine exactly how it went. Serena probably went to Nate about five seconds after Dan left. She probably skirted around her feelings, but the usually dense Nate finally picked up on the subtext. It of course took him a few days to man up and go after her, and that's when he gave Vanessa the boot. It all played to script, and Dan still felt bitter when thinking about it.

That day in the city was the first time he'd seen them up close and personal though. They were laughing, and talking, and Dan decided he could handle that. But then Serena threw her arms around Nate's neck and pulled him down for a kiss. Nate of course obliged, and right there in the middle of Manhattan they proclaimed their undying adoration for each other.

Dan could see there future flash before his eyes. They would date for another year before Nate would get down on one knee and propose. He'd probably say exactly the right thing, and Serena would cry and say yes without even thinking about it. The truth is she'd probably been thinking about it all her life. He's pretty sure Nate was always the white knight in all her childhood fantasies. They'd stay engaged for a proper amount of time while Lily and Nate's mother planned the wedding. Serena wouldn't care about that, and neither would Nate. Finally, the wedding would come. It would be the social event of the season, and Dan might even get a pity invite because Lily still kind of talked to his dad. Dan would go and watch the girl of his dreams marry the man of hers. She'd wear all white and look like a goddess. Blair would be her maid of honor, and Chuck would be the best man. They would both be thrilled because now they could be the perfect foursome without the Brooklyn interlopers. Blair and Chuck always resented Vanessa and Dan for mucking things up. After the wedding they'd grace the society section for a while, the perfect golden pair for everyone to be envious of. Nate would be successful at whatever he chose, Serena the same of course. The UES didn't do failure. And then eventually they'd have perfect toe headed children with bright blue eyes and infectious smiles. Their lives would go on in perfect harmony while Dan struggled through the rest of his.

Serena noticed Dan when she pulled away from Nate that day on the street. She stared at him in surprise for a moment, before she whispered something to Nate and then headed Dan's way. Dan hated that she felt the need to be polite, he really wished she would have just gone on her way. But that wasn't Serena, and he accepted that.

"Hi," she smiled at him shyly, and he figured she was unsure of how he would treat her. He resented that because he'd never been anything but good to her. Even now, he didn't have the heart to rain on her parade.

He nodded at her, unable to muster up a proper smile in return. "Seems like you're happy." He said very matter of fact, and she didn't respond at first. "It's okay." He heard himself saying, and hoped one day that would be true.

"Yeah, I'm happy," she finally conceded, and glanced back across the street where Nate was standing talking to someone on his phone. "Nate wasn't sure if… I mean he wanted to say hi, but…" She couldn't figure out what to say next, and Dan really wished she wouldn't have brought up Nate. The way she said his name now was so intimate. She loved him. This wasn't some weird adolescent attachment for them. This was the real thing.

"It's cool, you can tell him I said hello. I really have to get going though… classes start back soon and… Well, it was good seeing you." He doesn't know why but he reaches out and pats her arm as he's walking away. She smiles sadly at him, and he stops looking at her because he's afraid that's pity in her eyes.

"Bye, Dan." Her soft voice whispers in the air behind him as he keeps walking. He finally looks back when he gets to the corner, and he sees her standing with Nate again. They're smiling at each other, and Nate is leaning down and pressing his forehead against Serena's. Dan hates them both for a minute, before he remembers that will do him no good.

"Goodbye," he mumbles under his breath and keeps on going.

Six months to the day he sees the notice in the paper. Jenny and his father have tried to hide it from him, but he's been waiting for it, so he finds it anyway. They're engaged. Nate proposed at Christmas in front of family and friends… Serena cried. The wedding will take place in seven months. They couldn't even wait the full year.

Dan runs into Blair a few weeks later. She's bossing around some florist on the phone, and Dan figures she's steering the wedding planning ship with Lily and Nate's mom. Blair notices him, and surprisingly comes over to say hello. Dan isn't sure how to approach this unexpected turn of events, so he mostly plays the mute.

"Sorry, Humphrey," she says at last.

"For what?" He asks, even though he damn well knows what she's referring to. She doesn't bother to answer, just cocks her perfectly waxed eyebrow up at him. "Oh… I wish them well." He gives her the standard line.

"Big of you," she laughs to herself. She seems like she's going to say something else, but Chuck arrives at her side before she can. Chuck glares, Dan rolls his eyes, and Blair grins. This has always been the sum of their interactions. "Time to go, darling." She purrs at Chuck, and Dan turns away.

"Humphrey," Chuck sneers in his direction, before heading for the double doors to call his limo around.

"Always a pleasure," Dan calls after him. He turns back to Blair then, and an uncomfortable silence lingers. "She seems happy," he finally says.

Blair nods. "She is happy… she loves him." Blair isn't trying to twist the knife. She's stating fact, and Dan thinks he might be ready to accept that. "Have a good life." She tells him, and with one last fleeting look she's out the door. Dan watches as she meets Chuck outside. She kisses him peckishly and then laughs at whatever teasing thing Chuck says to her. Dan won't miss them, he never really liked them, but it's just another piece of his life that has faded.

Dan runs into Nate three months after the wedding. He's tan, and sporting some serious stubble. Dan tries to hide behind a rack of clothes, but Nate spots him and comes over. They stand face to face for the first time since Nate stole the love of Dan's life, and neither know what to say.

"How's it going?" Nate finally opts for the obvious.

"Fine. You?" Dan returns very civilized.

"Good." Nate bobs his head assertively, and Dan can tell he'd rather be anywhere but there. Nate is at heart a nice guy though, and can't just ignore Dan's very existence, no matter how much Dan wishes he would. "So…"

"Congratulations on the wedding." Dan says and he's halfway to meaning it.

"Thanks…" Nate looks around for a moment, before he turns back to Dan. It seems hard for him to meet Dan's eyes, but he finally does. "Look man, I'm sorry about everything that went down… she never meant to…" Nate doesn't finish that thought. Maybe he realizes how ill advised it is to rub salt into old wounds. Whatever the reason Dan is grateful.

"Water under the bridge," Dan says and feels closer to being okay than he has in a while. "See you around." Dan waves at him and walks away.

He doesn't look back this time. He doesn't look for mentions of them in the paper anymore. He even almost misses the story about Nate starting his own architecture firm – almost, but not quite. Serena begins modeling, then she dabbles in photography, and of course she's always center stage in the style section. He only knows this because Jenny reads it religiously and often leaves those pages out all over the place. Dan finds himself smiling one day when he see's a picture of Serena walking around in some crazy green rain boots. Only Serena van der Woodsen could pull those off. He frowns when he realizes it's Archibald now. Later, he sees page six speculate that Serena is pregnant. Three months later Jenny tells him it's true. She's built a family with Nate, the real thing. Dan finds himself a bit nostalgic when he finds out they had a little girl, but it doesn't hurt the way he thought it would.

Three years later he sees them all in the park. Nate and Serena with their little girl, Emmaline (according to his father). Emmaline has bright blonde hair, and light blue eyes. She's a mix of her mother and father, and Dan smiles to himself. Serena did good for herself, real good. Emmaline is hanging on Nate like a monkey, and Nate has the look of a confidant man. Marriage and fatherhood have agreed with him. Serena is dancing around and acting whacky, and Blair is rolling her eyes. Chuck comes up from behind a corner and hands the little girl some cotton candy. Dan never pictured Chuck as the doting uncle, but that's exactly what he looks like. They round the corner and come closer to where Dan is sitting on a bench. He realizes then that Blair is pregnant, and almost laughs out loud. Chuck and Blair as parents? Damn, that was going to be interesting.

Chuck spotted him first. He scowled but it lacked it's usual heat. Blair pointed him out to Serena, and then they all headed straight for him. For once Dan didn't feel like hiding. This had been inevitable, and he finally felt ready to deal with it. Serena and Blair got there first. They made inane chit chat about how life was, and asked about Dan's carreer. Blair complimented a piece he had published in the Times. She even admitted that Chuck had liked it. Dan swore Hell had frozen over. Nate, Chuck and little Emmaline arrived right behind them. The little girl was shy and clung to her father, until Nate introduced Dan to her as an old friend. Dan supposed that fit. Once upon a time they had all been friends… kinda.

"Hi," he greeted the little girl as she sucked cotton candy off her lips.

"Ell'o," she mumbled under her breath. She was beautiful, and amazing, and Dan found some peace in knowing his pain had lead the way to her. Nate and Serena had done really good for themselves.

"We were about to get some lunch, would you like to join us?" Serena offers, and Dan can tell she really wants him to say yes. He can't though. He doesn't belong with them anymore, maybe he never did.

He shakes his head. "I'm meeting some friends soon." He doesn't say maybe some other time, because there won't be. "It was nice seeing you guys," he tells them and means it. He doesn't even mind Chuck, because it's clear Emmaline has him wrapped around her fingers. Dan can tell because Chuck's letting her wipe her sticky hands on his pants, and Chuck really loves his clothes.

Times have changed.

"Okay, well, it was nice seeing you." Serena smiles at him. She's beautiful, and untouchable, and happier than he's ever seen her. She's a wife, and a mother, and he doesn't fit in anymore. It's alright though… he's alright.

"Bye Dan," Emmaline waves a pink dyed hand at him, before grabbing onto her Uncle Chuck and pulling him away to some new fascinating thing. "Beeee!" She calls after Blair, and Blair shrugs before saying a quick goodbye to Dan and running after her husband and niece.

That leaves Nate, Serena, and Dan. All members of the triangle present and accounted for. This time it's not a triangle though. Serena and Nate got it right. Dan was still working on it, but he had faith in his future.

"I should go make sure she doesn't talk them into anything crazy. Neither one of them can say no," Serena laughs softly. Then she leans down and hugs Dan quickly. "Take care of yourself." She whispers, before rushing off to join the rest of her life.

Nate lingers behind a moment, and Dan wonders what he's waiting for. "Nice seeing you," Nate settles on this, and Dan thinks he might just mean it. It doesn't make him bitter that Nate is a nice guy anymore, he's just glad Serena and her little girl have that. The most indecisive guy Dan's ever met seems sure of himself. It suits him.

"Hey Nate," Dan calls out to him before he can walk away. Nate turns back expectantly. "You have a beautiful kid. You guys did a nice job." Dan means it.

Nate grins, full of pride and joy. "Yeah," he agrees not at all ashamed of the life he's created. "Thanks." He waves at Dan before jogging over to his family. He picks his kid up and swings her around while she laughs crazily. Chuck and Blair hover nearby, and Serena twirls around like the eternal princess she'll always be.

Dan smiles to himself, before getting up and walking in the other direction. He can let them all go now, the golden prince, and his princess, with their little blonde angel, the king and queen of cruel with their own baby on the way. Dan took a breath, released it, and moved on with the rest of his life. 'Good luck', he thought. Farewell.


End file.
